Saturday, December 31, 2011

My successes and failures of 2011

How was your 2011?  For some of you reading this, its already 2012, but in Sunny South Africa, we are still waiting in anticipation.  As always, I like to consider where I have been so that I can look ahead of me and decide where I am going and how I want to do things differently.  Looking at my successes and failures for the year is always a good place to start.

Photo Credit

Successes for this year:
1. My marriage - you could be asking yourself why?  Maybe you should re-read my post Never Quit.  The fact that our marriage is now sitting on the 12 year mark is a miracle.  No its not 50 yet but I believe marriage is a miracle that only be sustained by the grace and power of God!
 2.  Only one broken bone this entire year - those of you that know my boys, will agree on this. 

3.  Going to China - a dream come true.  Planning another trip this year, this time without all the hard work of volunteering but hopefully just to see more of the people there and meet others who have moved there because of the love they have for this nation.


4.  Homeschooling my children - like marriage, this takes a miracle combined with commitment, a good support group and amazing friends.  I have these and so I am looking forward to a new year of the same.

5. My blog - yes its up and running and I love writing.  I don't feel pressurized to be everything for everyone and I am enjoying the opportunity to minister and mentor others in the roads I have travelled.

6.  My church family - as we moved down from KZN a year and a half ago, we left a very special group of friends in Empangeni which we have been part of for the last 10 year.  But now we are feeling at home in our new family.

7.  Friends - I have fallen in love with the people of the Cape.  I love all the new friends I have, I am blessed to have people in my life who truly have made a remarkable difference to me.


Failures of this year:
1.  Gym - bah humbug, my husband loves my love handles (or at least that's what he tells me even though we went to gym yesterday and are planning to go on NEW YEARS EVE! - have you ever heard of such sad individuals?) 

2.  Weight - to lose it of course! oh yes every year no 1 and no 2 are on the top of my list and they never make it into the successes.  Lord save me from myself please!

3.  Me time - always struggle with this.  One of the challenges of a homeschooling mom and always self inflicted.  I have a choice and I definitely don't always choose the right option.


4.  Finances to travel- I thought I would have saved up enough money by now to travel the world! My dream!  Oh well, will keep praying:)
5.  Putting my husband first - I have to fight this fight everyday. So often by the time Sean has finished work, I am finished.  Need to keep the best of me for him more often.

6.  Mother Matters Webinars- I really enjoyed having our chat sessions but realized that it was premature.  Plus all the technological challenges that go with trying to host a webinar.  I will definitely need to consider television, though I might need to get no 1 and no 2 right first before attempting to go that route, which is unlikely.

So there you have my list of successes and failures of the year.  I would love to know what yours were. Why not leave a comment and tell me what really worked this year - and if you are brave enough - what didn't.


Thursday, December 22, 2011

26 Words that changed my life forever

We all have a moment in our lives which changes the direction forever. A moment where we will never be the same, never turn back or never forget.I have been through so much in my life, as have many of you and yet even those things seem to fade in comparison. There was a moment, the moment I heard 26 words and they were without a doubt, the most important words I ever heard.  I moment where I chose life, instead of death.


"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3: 16"
 What road have you chosen?

Why I blog?

It all started with a Kindle.  Yes purely materialistic (who would have thought).I had heard of bloggers who were able to buy a Kindle by selling things through their blog and I thought it was the way to go.

I have a wish list of things that I would like to buy and a Kindle, Nook or iPad would definitely be on the top.  All I want to do is be able to read lots and lots of books!  So I decided that I would start a blog so I could also buy a Kindle.

That was almost a year ago and guess what?  I haven't made a cent..... yet:)  I know pathetic isn't it?  But my reasons have changed too.  What has happened instead is that more and more I have realised that my greatest desire is to to honor and to encourage women who embrace the calling of marriage, motherhood, and home management.. Women are the heart of the home, they determine the atmosphere and they are raising the leaders of tomorrow.  

So if I make money - great! And if I get to buy a e-reader, even better - but really it doesn't matter anymore. I just want to make a difference and touch lives.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christmas: A time of gladness or sadness?

I know everyone is looking forward to the holidays, if you are not already lying in the sun absorbing the rays (that would be for those of us in the Southern Hemisphere of course) or putting on layers and layers of clothing before heading out to build snowmen (romanticized view of snow countries:).

This year more than most I am reminded of how many families or individuals are not in that space.  The holiday cheer, the joy and the celebrations.  Again I was reminded yesterday of how there are those who are in a vulnerable place needing lots of support.  I was in that place 4 years ago.  I had just lost my daughter.  Many of you know Ruthie, but I had another daughter before her - only for 9 months but she was mine.

At that time I wrote an article in the Christmas of 2007.  A story of loss and comfort.  A story of tears and of hope.  I would like to share this story with you now and trust that if you are going through something that you feel you cannot cope with - there is someone who understands something (not everything) of how you feel during this season.  And our God who will love you through it.

My Precious Daughter
Today is the day of gifts and presents, a day of blessings and surprises. Yet I wonder to myself why I feel the urge to write with my family outside. Children running around, laughing – the smell of food cooking and conversations drifting in through the door. My mind is drawn back to gifts I have received over the years and yet there is one gift that I will never forget, and one which brings both a sadness, joy and longing rushing in. My precious little gift from our Father – my daughter, Savannah.

I was told by the gynecologist that he was concerned that she was small and that she was growing too slowly but I never even suspected that there was a problem. I had three robust, healthy boys. I was expecting my first daughter, which in itself was a wonderful surprise as we had never really expected to have a little girl. As the thought of having a daughter grew, I became aware of other little girls, thinking – she'll be a little like her, and she'll probably have eyes like that little girl, and oh I would love to buy her a little dress just like that one.

When the day of delivery came, I gave birth yet before I had even seen her, a paediatrician came to see me and told me that she had Trisomy 18, a fatal chromosomal disorder. Everything that could be wrong was wrong with her. Her insides were a mess, her heart was weak and had a hole, she had Pneumonia and the doctor said she would probably not live more than 48 hours. I sat in shock and asked him to bring her to me, as they had still not shown me my daughter, before they transferred her to a neighbouring government hospital for intensive care as we had no medical aid.

They brought her in, wrapped up tight in this little blanket from which a tiny face peeked out, with little eyes that looked back at me so trustingly. I couldn't see what was wrong; my mind and heart could not make sense of what had happened nor what was wrong with her. They took her away and I was left at the hospital. My mind surged. I felt close to hysteria.  I wanted to shout to the heavens .....WWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYY??????????

Friends of ours arrived and brought a word of encouragement, I heard words like “faith” “fight for her because no one else can” , “don't give up hope” but they were all a blur. I remember looking at them thinking – How can you say that? Do you know? Do you understand? I had visitors, all loving family from the church reassuring me, bringing gifts and I remember thinking - how can they be so calm? My world had fallen apart, and my thoughts were anything but loving and Christian.  This couldn't be a gift from God. You hear all the time that God doesn't make mistakes but how could he have allowed this to happen knowing that she was going to die prematurely?

The next 4 weeks were a blur. Parents came down, friends supported us. I lived at the hospital and lived in a place of never knowing whether I would arrive to another exhausting day or to be told she was gone. The fact that she lived past 48 hours in itself was a miracle. People came from everywhere and prayed for her. Old pastors, friends and family phoned from overseas and everyone was crying with us. In my mind I kept thinking “God what did I do wrong? Why are you punishing me and why are you punishing this little body with tubes? How could a loving Father allow this? How could He watch His little girl Savannah suffer like this as they stuck needle after needle into her little body? Had I been disobedient, had I done something so bad to be punished like this?

After 24 arduous days we took her home when it became clear that hospitalization was pointless, though the staff did not think it was a good idea. The boys had not been allowed to see her and they were overjoyed. They held her lovingly and vied to hold her. Everyone wanted to hold little “vannah”. They saw nothing wrong but loved her fully. They didn't see the physical abnormalities but loved her whole heartedly from her first day home. As she grew they tickled her and even made her laugh, they had long conversations with her as she listened intently, they held her and stroked her hand, they told her all the time how much they loved her and bragged endlessly to their friends about their sister Savannah.

What happened over time in my heart could only have come from God. Initially my heart was torn and broken but slowly my heart started to warm to her and I didn't look at her critically anymore - I remember one momentous occasion during worship at our church. I felt like I needed to thank God for his gift, who, though broken in my sight, she was perfect in his sight – so I took her to the front of the church, took two flags and waved and worshipped above her and thanked God for this wonderful gift he had given me. I remember the tears falling down my face as my heart was exposed before him, broken and sore. As I did this, the Holy Spirit poured down onto me. I wept openly not caring who saw but knowing that this was so important. I had to forgive God, had to forgive myself for all my thoughts and feelings and had to show Savannah that I loved her just as Christ loved me with all my blemishes, imperfections and brokenness.

From that point I started to see her beauty. Its amazing how God opens our eyes to the beauty of others when we love them. Instead of seeing her mis-shapen ears, I saw how she turned her head when she heard my voice. Instead of noticing her squint I heard her giggles as we tickled her. I wanted to hold her, I wanted to take her everywhere I went. I put her in little dresses that I had kept for her, I held her to me and loved her knowing that I had to treasure every precious moment with my little treasure.

I would love to write the words “and they lived happily every after” but that would not be true.

She got sick and though I fought in faith, once again my heart was broken. This time I had to watch helplessly while she slipped away. What I remember at the end was how God was with me and held on to me so tightly, though I didn't understand why this had all happened. Just before she passed away I got a phone call from a close friend who shared that he saw how at prayer meeting that as they were praying for her, it was as if they were there lifting her up into the Father's arms. It was at that very moment that he shared that word with us, she left us. I know that God wanted us to know where she was, who she was with and that she was treasured. When my heart longs for her I am often reminded of that word of encouragement and I see this picture time and time again of her dancing in heaven while our Father looks on in joy. She has a pink little dress that swirls and she turns and turns, laughing and giggling. When she's tired she falls down on His lap and leans against His chest while she holds onto Him with both her arms around His neck.

Is it over? No, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this today. But my feelings are ones of longing mixed with joy. I have realised through this that she has been a blessing in our lives. The whole church adopted her, she became theirs as much as ours. Even now I have friends telling me how often they think of her and miss her and they become tearful and it brings such a sense of wonder that God could use such a little waif of a girl to impact hundreds of people's lives and give us such an awesome privilege to love not just our daughter but his.


His precious little girl, the apple of his eye, the wonder of his heart, the expression of his love. Thank you Lord for those precious moments, thank you for your heart of grace. Thank you for your precious gift to us – Savannah. My precious daughter. 


A friend of ours wrote this beautiful poem for us:

Precious little one


How our hearts ache now you’re gone


There’s a longing inside


And when the last tears have dried


Still we’ll miss you


Little one.




Precious baby girl


Fragile little pearl


Your days here were few


And deep down we knew


God would come for you


Little one.




Precious little rose


As time comes and goes


Your memory will stay


And we’ll meet again one day


Forever in our hearts


Little one.

kindly written by Melissa Knott

  If you would like to read more about our journey, my husband wrote a small blog during this time which can be found  here.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Birthday Celebrations: Chaddy Chatterbox

My youngest son,  turned 8 yesterday!  Chadwick - which means warrior - is a light of laughter and fun in our house.  He loves everyone!  My precioius son who comes in for cuddles and hugs and tickles all day.  I love you Chad and pray God's richest blessings on every part of your day.

Thank you Lord, for this blessing!

 

 




 


Saturday, December 17, 2011

Beaty in Unexpected Places

I was walking past a construction zone along the Main Road in Kalk Bay last weekend. Huge areas of construction have been going on for a while and I see no end in the near future.

I can only describe it as 
  busy  messy noisy dirty

And yet in the midst of all of this

BEAUTY


Friday, December 16, 2011

Winners of the Reading Eggs Giveaway

So its Friday and that means it's time to announce our winners of the Reading Eggs Giveaway.



And the winners are:


Michelle and her comment was......
Hi, we are a home educating family. My son is 12 and my daughter 9yrs old. She loves reading and will read anything that grabs her attention. At this stage she loves anything about horses. My son on the other hand, detests reading for some or other bizarre reason as he grew up with lots of stories and books. He just does the necessary for his English program and reads his Bible for Afrikaans and sometimes he'll page through a book on Star Wars or something similar. I'd love to get him motivated to read some more. One of our favorite activities is family reading. The books we've really enjoyed reading together are Roald Dahl's books-I'm sure we have read most of them!; the whole Narnia series and Frances Hodgen Burnett's A little Princess and The Secret Garden....all but to name a few. A mouthful comment...! 

AND

Carla and her comment was......
Wow, what a wonderful prize. A great means to distract a little one into a love for reading whilst completing maths with another! I love all your ideas...thanks! My kids both love Dr Seuss and never tire of reciting whilst I read...great for a laugh after a tough day. Luke, 7, loves books on vikings, Romans and knights, ancient armour etc...we currently have about 7!! Zach loves poetry and humour....most of the Sonlight books are a hit so far 

Well done ladies, I am sure you will really enjoy have a year's subscription to Reading Eggs. Please contact me with your email address so that I can send you the details of your subscription.


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Could it be you?

She sits alone in a crowded room.  Others laugh and celebrate.  She watches, she yearns.  She turns away to look out into the dark shadows of the night.

Who is she?  What is her story?  

Could it be you?

If
.....you had lost someone dear to you, someone too precious for words.  Someone who made you smile, who touched your heart and you touched theirs

If
.... you were abandoned by the one you loved.  The one who swore he would love you forever but forever was too long for him.

If
..... you had waited for a man, a Godly man, to find you and marry you.  He never arrived and now you just wait........ and ........wait or you decided not to wait and know that who you are settling for is second best.

If
...... you feel rejected by your friends, judged for your differences and feel like you will never fit in.

If
..... your children have let you down.  Have no respect for you and treat you like you are worthless, meaningless, just an irritation.

Could it be you?

OR

Could it be your friend?

  Could it be that what she is having to deal with is too much for her to bear?  Burdens that weigh her down and leave her feeling alone and rejected?

While we enjoy this season of holidays, family time, festivities and friends - do we remember that not everyone is able to see the joy and light of this season because of the darknesss that envelopes them?

Today I cried,  today I prayed ...... for my friends.  

Will you?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

How to Get your Children Reading and a Great Giveaway

 OK so I know that everyone is in holiday mode! And I know that you are not thinking about next year!  Of course you are! If you are not - let me know how you switch off.  I might not speak about it but my mind is running with ideas for next year.  Excursions, books to read, arts and crafts - the list is endless.

Whether your children go to school, or you home school - a big concern for most parents are Maths and English.  Could be wrong - but I know its almost always the centre of the universe for education.

I love the fact that my children love books.  Mind you, some of them just like to page through books, others read so fast I can't get to the library quickly enough EVER! and some need lots of help.  But they love books!  There have been a few ways that I have helped to encourage my children to read....and read .... and read!

My eldest son has always loved reading - so he was easy.  "You get books, I read".  My middle son was not as keen, he would rather be playing outside than reading, but some of these have really been key strategies for him learning to love reading.  Most of these strategies relate to the difficult readers!

Books  Everywhere
When a child is wondering around the house with nothing to do, they will see the books and pick one off the shelf. Make sure that you arrange them so that the covers catch their attention.  Don't just put them in a pile.  Spread them out on a table in the lounge.  Put one or two on their side tables.

Don't be disappointed if they only page through the book.  When they see something they like or catches their attention, they will want to find out what it says and if they can't read yet, they will ask you to read.
These books are in our dining room.
There are some lovely ideas on how to put up shelves using a gutter which allows you to put books everywhere.   
 You can find a simple tutorial on Raising Olives.  As a mother of 10 she has learnt how to ensure that all her children have lots to read everywhere!

Get a Variety
Get books on topics your children like.  Don't force them to read a specific type of book.  If your son likes fishing then load those shelves with fishing books.  My son loves anything he can make with some cellotape and a stapler. ( Did I mention that he thinks the world is held together by these two pieces of stationary?  If he sees something is broken he brings out the cellotape.  We go through a roll every 2 weeks.)  The point is, I get lots of crafty books.  Also skateboarding, surfing, J-boarding - these would be top of his "Like" list.

Read to them A LOT
Make this part of their daily routine.  I find reading to the children at bed time becomes a wonderful bonding time.  Children of all ages still enjoy this, especially if it's a family moment.  They might read at school or you might do some reading while you are homeschooling but their appetite for reading is huge! Keep feeding that hunger because they will eventually want to read by themselves - the frustration of waiting until the evening to find out what happened will motivate them to read.
If you are too tired, then let your older children do the reading and you listen with the other children.  I have loved those moments of cuddling up next to one of the younger children while the eldest gets a chance to read.
 Dress Up
You don't have to go mad (unless you really want to) but use a piece of clothing or an accessory that sets the scene.  Wear an eye patch when reading about pirates.  Face paint an animal character.  Put on a pretty dress when reading stories of a princess or a tiara.Use your imagination.

Go to the library - and not just for books
Go for books.  Go for the fun holiday programs.  Go for DVDs or the music selection.  The more positive the experience, the more your children will see books in a positive light.  Don't always rush in and rush out but give them a chance to browse and page.

Choose books for them
I let my children choose most of their own books.  I do scan them quickly to see if there is content that I don't think they should be reading.  While they are choosing their books, get some books that you think they might like.  I will often select unusual books or authors that they have never read.  I don't make a big fuss about it, I simply put it on the shelf.  At some point they will get to them. This ensures that they read widely and that you expose them to both fiction and non fiction books.  It also helps children move away from a specific type of book and explore a variety.

Reading is such a vital component of life. I trust that some of these handles will help you encourage your children to become avid readers and love books!


And now for the Giveaway!

I was recently given 3 months access to a wonderful program Reading Eggs to review.  And was I glad to do that!

This reading program is suitable for children from 3 years to 12. The youngest children start in a playroom, and then as they progress they build on what they have learnt.  The older children start on a rotating island which they explore and compete to win various golden eggs.

The whole program is colourful and fun with lots and lots of games (which are all learning activities but FUN ones.)  The children earn golden eggs for completing various games and they can go shopping with it.

My children beg me to use this program daily!  I have never found it so easy to motivate them to read.  In fact in the older section there are over 600 e-books to read with very familiar titles.  They not only have to read the books but they have to answer comprehension and vocabulary questions to earn their golden eggs and there are lots of fun rewards which motivate the children to want to read even more.

Reading Eggs would benefit 
*  reluctant readers
*  beginner readers 
*  children who love reading
* children with special needs

And so after using this program and loving it, I asked them for a prize and we have 2 X 1 year subscriptions valued at AU$79.95 or £39.95 for 2 lucky readers!  ( Each subscription is for one child) So go ahead and enter!


This is How to Enter the Giveaway

Simply leave a comment and tell me what books your children love the most.  Do your children love Roald Dahl?  Do they love comics?  Or do they devour Kids National Geographic magazines?

Anyone can enter our Giveaway AND you can enter even if you have won one of the Giveaways before.  Its open to anyone whether you live across the ocean or next door.
The Winner will be announced on Friday.  

Whether or not you win this giveaway, why not sign up for a free trial of 14 days.  It's just worth every day!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Health Care for Homeschooling Moms

I have been really sick this week.  I am a real toughie and don't get sick frequently but I think this year has been a long one with life being really busy.  As usual, what I do in life and experience becomes part of what I write about. 

I realised as I lay on my bed and then the couch this week, that getting sick can be a challenge for any mom.  And especially a homeschooling mother, as you aren't given the daily reprieve of sending your children to school.  

How do you cope?  

Here are some of the strategies I use to cope when I get sick.  They are not fail proof, but they have worked well in our family.

Give Your Children Responsibilities
They are quite capable.  Don't feel bad.  I know as mom's we often feel guilty lying or sitting still but if we plan on getting better, let them do it.  You are always serving your family - it's good for them to serve you too.  (including your husband)

Lower Your Expectations with Food
My boys are being taught to cook,which they love but they are by no means experts.  So what if you have to eat simple meals like fried eggs on toast, baked beans on toast or mince and mash?  Just make sure everyone is eating lots of raw vegetables (carrots, cucumbers, baby tomatoes - the ones they like:) and fresh fruit during the day. 
When Friends Offer to Help - say YES!
Don't be shy! We all love to help our friends, so let them do something in return. They wouldn't offer if they didn't want to.

Rest
I know that sleep is nature's best way of healing the body.  Drink lots of fluids but REST.  Take vitamins but still you need to REST.  We often take all the meds and then continue to run around because we start to feel better.  Don't let the meds lie to you, you still need to REST.
 Let Your Children Pray for You
We read to our children about how Jesus healed the sick.  Let them lay hands on you and pray.  I believe that children have the faith we often lack.  You would be amazed at the difference my children's prayers have made in my life.

Homeschool the easy way
Homeschooling can still happen even if you are sick.  I personally don't like the children to stop just because I am sick.  I find that it can get more challenging if they don't, because they get up to mischief and they start having a go at each other.

This is what I do:

* Read aloud time is extended - I read if I can, otherwise I get the children to have turns.

* Computer work:  I have a few really great computer programs which we use for History, English, Anatomy and Mandarin.  So any of these can have them learning with the least amount of supervision.

*  For little ones, bring toys into the room you are resting in and CLOSE THE DOOR.  Let them play in the room with you.  

*  For the more easily distracted children, let them work on the bed next to you.  Nothing motivates a child more than knowing someone is watching. (at least in our house it works that way)

Don't stop extra curricular activities if you can help it, as they need to get out.  Ask someone in your group to help.  Give them a call! You might not be up to it, but believe me your children are - and hopefully they will use up some of that energy before they come home.
 *  Get your husband to get some good quality educational videos or audio books.  I have had my children watch some amazing nature videos - different learning medium and they loved it.  Audio books are an excellent resource for keeping play quiet. They are usually so enthralled by the story, they don't want to miss a word.  The result?  Quiet play.  Lego is great for this.

* Focus on  your core subjects - don't try and do everything. 

Home school when you can.  I often sleep late when I am sick.    Have a chat to your children the day before and let them know what you expect of them.   Let the children spend the first part of their morning doing chores and some quiet free play in their rooms where they won't disturb you.


Encourage and Thank Your Family Frequently
Tell them how much they mean to you for what they are doing.  I know the cynical might say, "well I do this every day and no one says anything to me".  But this is your opportunity for positive reinforcement.  Your children need to know that they are helping you.  Most children get quite concerned when mommy is sick because "mommy never gets sick".  Reassure them and encourage them.

Your husband will be stretched and will need you to tell him what a great job he is doing.  From grocery shopping or even the fact that he made it through the day in one piece:)  Let him know his value.  You will be building him up and your appreciation will motivate him even more!


I would love to hear from you.  
How do you cope when you are sick? 
Do you have a special strategy that helps you cope?  
Why not leave a comment and share some of the lessons you have learnt through these times.