Why Me Lord?

 As another week goes by without our car, the second time its gone in to be fixed in the last month - and another large sum of money that needs to be paid over to the fixer-of-our-car, I think WHY?  Again?  As if we don't have enough challenges at the moment.  And as usual when life gets tough and things are difficult I ask the timeless question, that we all do at some point in our lives:

Why Me Lord?

And this is what He said;

" Do you doubt my love for you?"
No Lord
" Do you think that it is not in my capacity and ability to do all things?"
No Lord
" Have I not shown you time and time again my incredible love for you,  my dying love for you, my eternal love for you ... again and again"
Silence
"My precious love, there is nothing that I would not do for you because I love you, NOTHING.  And I held nothing back, I gave everything.  I gave Him for you."
Then why Lord?  Why?  Why not someone else?  Why?  Isn't it enough that we worship you?  Isn't it enough that we have given our lives, our children, our finances, our hearts, our tears, our brokenness to you?  I read your word, I pray, I love, I serve and yet I still don't see that it makes any difference?
" So you love me because you want me to fix your car...? Give you money...? Make life easier...? You want shoes...? What about me?  Do you just want me?  Do you only want me?  Am I enough for you?  Do you still care who I am even if I don't give you everything you lay your eyes on?  Do you still love me without ever receiving another blessing from me again? Am I enough?  Do you love me for just me?  Your heart is fickle.  Your heart loves only when it gets.  And then only when it gets what it wants.  Not the unseen blessings every day that I pour out onto your life.  Where is my love?  Where are you my love?  Every day I wait - but you are busy.... so busy. 

 

 And then there is nothing.....because I cannot say anything in my defense.  I know that all those noble things I think I have done, are empty.  Noble works - empty works - without Him.  Without Him it all means nothing.  And I know that like a child, I have strayed - strayed from His side, refusing to listen to His voice.  Whining, moaning, dissatisfied and ungrateful. All for THINGS, meaningless THINGS.

And so I stand before Him humbled, repentant and realising the truth of my selfishness.  And so grateful that even in all of this - He still loves me.  So undeserving and yet He does.  And I am grateful once again that my precious Father is more interested in the condition of my heart than the condition of my car, wallet or cupboard.

Does it mean that life is any easier?  No.  Do I struggle?  All the time.  But as Psalm 84:10 says "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked."

Today Lord, for you Lord, all my heart, all of me - just for You, because of You. 

Dear friend, are you facing one crisis after another? 
 An unfaithful husband?
Financial pressures that are crippling you? 
Friends who have turned their back on you or is it your son who seems to be drifting and no longer respects your opinion? 
Have you lost someone dear to you or are your still hurting from your past? 

He cares, He cares about you.  He gave everything for you.  He has not left you, He has not abandoned you.  His love for you is everlasting.  Don't let what you are going through, cast doubt on His love.  But remember all He has given for you.  Remember every day, what has gone before and let that cast light on the future.