Eating an elephant?

I have a vision, a dream, a goal, a must do, a list.  They all require me to do something,,  Whether it's learning Mandarin so we can move to China, losing the excess kilograms after enjoying the wine and food in the Cape, homeschooling my children so that they are prepared for the life they are called to live - but all of these things need me to do something .....anything.

I don't have a dream of eating elephants even though we live in Africa.  In fact in Cape Town the closest thing to an elephant is when I catch site of my rear end while trying on a new pair of jeans.   But there is a joke my children love to tell me.

Q:  "How do you eat an elephant"

A:   "One mouthful at a time"

The truth of the matter is that some of the items on that list seem huge.  Almost impossible.  When I hear that I need to learn 5000 Chinese characters to be fairly comfortable with Mandarin and I have only learnt about 100, that task seems daunting! When I think about losing 10kg's I want to run in the opposite direction to the local ice cream shop to buy a Bulgarian chocolate delight while I mourn the path ahead.  When I think about homeschooling for the next 14 or more years (based on the youngest in the family) - I want to get applications forms for the school round the corner.

But there is a secret to all of this.   

One mouthful at a time.

And eventually the thing that seemed too big, too challenging, too hard, too anything.... is achieved.
So tonight that means that once I am finished blogging, I will be studying Mandarin for about 30 minutes.  Tomorrow I will start my day with the right breakfast and enjoy a day of learning with my children without thinking about next week or next year.

The result - I am that closer to reaching my goal.

What are you hoping to achieve?  What big project have you wanted to tackle but it's just seemed to much for you to handle?  Look at it with new eyes and ask yourself, what small thing can you do today?

Cuttting down when things are tough

We recently have been a bit tight with finances, which can create a fair amount of stress in our household and as mom, I think the burden of having to create food out of nothing or knowing there are things your family needs but can't afford - can be fairly difficult to deal with. There are many ways you can deal with this: you can borrow, you can get a credit card, you can go into overdraft, you can not pay your bills 

OR

YOU CAN CUT BACK

This is not always the nicest option.  I've had to make phone calls to end sport sessions, or stopped extra curricular activities, not gone on as many excursions, saying no to invitations to parties because we can't afford a babysitter and gift.  

AND IT'S HARD

Of course it is.  

It requires humility ("I can't afford these lessons anymore")

it takes honesty ("I would love to visit but actually I don't have petrol money")

 not having the things you want or need ("I really need a new pair of sneakers")

 eating more basic meals ("I wish I could have some mushrooms and cream with this pasta sauce instead of just tomato")

but it also 

TAKES FAITH

I have to trust what God says, trust that He will take care of us - sometimes in ways that I wouldn't have chosen (like someone arriving with groceries at the door) - but put my pride in my pocket and trust Him and be grateful for what He gives me.

But given the choice between debit and faith - I choose faith any day.  Debt imprisons but faith brings freedom.

Choose freedom!

 Remember you are not alone.  I too have wept.  I have had times when I have had an empty fridge.  I have had moments where I have been fearful of losing my home and yet time and time again - God done the most amazing things in our lives and in our family's life.  

If you would like prayer, feel free to email me. I will pray with and for you as we trust God together to do what needs to be done, and to provide in a way that only He can.  Even if you have already cut back, tried your best to live frugally and still you are really struggling to make ends meet, let's pray!

Linking up with Domestically Divine Tuesday, 

Live for today, not tomorrow

Learn to appreciate the things you have before time forces you appreciate the things you once had.

This was a particularly meaningful quote for me today.  On Friday, I heard about a school classmate who had died at the age of 39.  I am 39.  I keep thinking that I have the rest of life ahead of me, years and years to enjoy.  Time to enjoy my husband, time to enjoy the sunshine, the sea - time with my children- but right now I am busy.  Busy with so many things, maybe tomorrow.

And yet life can come to an abrupt halt .... 

Be Careful of Dream Snuffers

"I have a dream...." 

such powerful words

VISION

Vision is powerful in that is the seed of greatness

It's the start of a journey

It's personal 

Vision is governed by your own convictions and passions.

When you have a dream...

beware of the one who would snuff it out!

Whether you have vision for a new business, a ministry that God has laid on your heart, your educational philosophy, or lifestyle choices - be careful of who you open up to, who you are vulnerable with.

There are friends, family members or strangers who have the ability to cast every criticism or doubt that could rob you of the things you dream of.  They might not do it intentionally but these criticisms and doubts are based on their own worldview, life's experiences or disappointments.

Choose who you talk to carefully.  Often when we share these dreams they are still in infancy - we can be sensitive and a little unsure of the how, when, why and what.  Shared with the wrong person - we might never take another step, but shared with right person, we will be

Inspired

Encouraged

Supported

Motivated

Believe in what seems impossible

Today I want to say to you:

 

Dream big!  Dream in God!  Believe in Yourself! 

What happens when you are in a hole?

Having read my Plan B post, many of you have encouraged me, some have prayed, some have been so relieved that I am being honest because they have felt like they are not alone in this struggle called life.

But there is another question that follows - now what?  

What do you do when you fall into this hole?  A hole so deep that you can barely make out the sunshine (which has nothing to do with the fact that I live in Cape Town for those of you that have been wondering).  The answer for me is nothing but....

Put the next foot forward. 

Sometimes that's all I can do, is just push through to the next step.  I might have to grit my teeth, hold on with with everything I've got and dig deep - but just the next step.  

I have realised that if I try to over analyse my situation that I can end up digging a deeper hole, a hole created out of self pity and just wallow there.  I can ask people to pray and I know that they will, as faithful friends but sometimes I need to spend time struggling with the Lord and just keep walking forward. 

Just one step at a time.  Nothing else.

Do you have a Plan B?

It's been a terrible couple of days (keeping it real).  Yes I know some of you don't like to hear it because you come to this blog to be encouraged, to be mentored and to have happy thoughts.  I have struggled to write this week because I am being challenged on every front in my life at the moment.  Marriage, finances, home school pressures, housekeeping - you name it my buttons are being pushed and in fact if this were the movies we would be on the red zone before some gasket was about to blow.

Yes I have prayed, yes I have sought out the Lord, yes I have regrettably argued and complained about my lot in life - but nothing has changed.  Sometimes we can do everything we know how to do and everything we tell everyone to do and still nothing changes.  

This situation reminds me of my trip to China.  We arrived in Hong Kong and after catching trains and buses we crossed over through no man's land - not China and not Hong Kong. We were caught between two places.  And we needed to cross no man's land to get to our destination.  Well that's where we are! In the middle.  Nothing is clear, its like looking through the fog and even if you put on your lights and turn them on bright - you still can't see properly.

Yesterday I was able to sit with a dear friend and we prayed together.  We shared similar feelings and struggles and it felt good to get some things off my chest.  Again, though we prayed together, it didn't change anything but at least I didn't feel like I was alone. There was someone who understood where I was at.  Someone who didn't minimise my feelings or give me scripture to memorise telling me that I lacked faith or perseverance or that I should be happy because I am going through these things (I mean really, can anyone honestly be happy with hardship - inner joy - maybe - happy, definitely not!).

So here I am sharing this with you, but there's a few reasons.  I am not perfect.  Reading people's blogs might give you the feeling they have it all together.  We don't.  Also this same friend shared a very special post by another blogger (of course) which was a real encouragement for me.  So I thought I would share it with you.  Why reinvent the wheel when someone has already written a beautiful post about this?

 Last month, my husband Lee and I celebrated the ten year anniversary of the first day we met. I had driven from Dallas, Texas to Wake Forest, NC to start seminary and teach English at a Christian school. The administrator of the school had given Lee my new address and asked told him to show up and help the new teacher unload her U-Haul. He showed up, and the rest, as they say, is history.

But I would not say everything in our lives from that day ten years ago until now has been perfect. It hasn’t all been easy. We’ve had many “plan B” situations—times when our plan and God’s plan didn’t match. We have a child with autism. We have been in the long process of adoption for over two years now. Our house only has one bathroom. (Just keeping it real. Wouldn’t everyone’s “Plan A” include a house with more than one bathroom?) And even though I wouldn’t have chosen each delay, diagnosis, or drawback, I can honestly say God’s plan for our lives is perfect.
When God’s plan interrupts my life and my plans, I have to turn to Scripture to remember who is really in charge. I need encouragement to face Plan B. Thankfully, His Word is full of Plan B situations, and reassurance for those of us going down different roads than we had planned.

   Whatever Plan B situation you find yourself in today (or tomorrow), know that it’s still God’s Plan A for your life. Trust in that and praise Him for the encouragement you find in His Word.

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Written by Sandra Peoples on Do Not Depart

Count your days

I know I already posted this on my Facebook group, but this comment by an old school friend  touched me so deeply that I really wanted to share it.  

 He was rushed to hospital after a pool accident on 24 August..longest 3min of our lives.But was already walking the streets of Gold with Jesus... Missed his 1st birthday the following week 1 September----he would have been 16yrs old this week. Every day is purposed to have its own blessings in it...count your days that He has given you to share...tomorrow might not come for some...so when prompted......call that person, invite for dinner, go visit...don't waste this gift.....of Today.~~~~~~~~`trust me, I know.

 We forget, we always forget.  

The fragility of life.  

We have no guarantees - life is short.   

I was reminded again to take the time to listen

to spend a moment appreciating those around me

to breath deeply and enjoy where I am and who I am with.

Love you all deeply and pray that God will inspire you today to make your day count!

No, they are not perfect!

I love love love my kids, they are the best! And you know what - they are not perfect - never ever.  And even if they look like they are resembling perfection - it won't last - maybe a couple of minutes, if I am lucky a bit longer - but it will come to an end.

As you look at your own children and compare them to children who appear to be altogether perfect, well mannered, diligent and immaculately dressed - remember that they ain't perfect either and neither is their mommy!  They will also have their moments.  Maybe not quite the same moment or at the same inconvenient time - but they will.

My children have temper tantrums, cry for effect, lie, manipulate, give me attitude, bicker, drag their feet when it comes to chores, moan and groan and complain.

And it's only when I stop looking at other children and comparing, that I am really able to enjoy them and see...

that they also make me laugh, they help and serve, are considerate with their siblings, look after me when I am feel down, make dinners, ask a multitude of questions and have a zest for life, are adventurers and love quickly, forget my mistakes and forgive easily, are adventurers and bring colour to every day. 

Stop for a moment today and just make a list of 5 things that make each of your children special to you today and then go and tell them.  Make it a time of building with them.  Do it and you will be amazed at how good it is to speak such life over them and for them to hear what they are doing right!

Homeschooling takes commitment

Today on Facebook, I found this note that Heidi St John of The Busy Homeschool Mom wrote as many homeschoolers start their school year now.  This is different to us(South Africa) as we start school in January but I found this note so relevant to anyone who homeschools.  It's a real reminder of what we are doing and why we are doing it, the encouragement all of us need to hear every day!

Okay, I just have to say: this is a hard time of year for the "regular school" and "homeschool" moms to understand each other. Sometimes it can be downright depressing to watch other moms send their kids off to school and return to their houses to do ... well I can only imagine. :) My best friend sends her kids to "regular" school and so this is NOT a "dig" , it's just a reality check.

This morning I saw a status from a mom who was "elated" to finally have her children back in school... she was going to the mall by herself to celebrate... oh the plans she had, 7 hours to herself every day! No messy house. Peace and quiet. I admit, I felt the familiar sting of jealousy mixed with a bit of angst about all that was ahead for me this fall, minus my oldest two graduates ... And then, it hit me: homeschooling is a MONUMENTAL COMMITMENT. And it's not for everyone.

Homeschooling families choose

—more messy house days
—more math lessons
—less "me" time
—less "quiet" time
—less income, most of the time
—less trips to the mall...or anyplace else... alone :)

But IN RETURN, if we do not lose heart, if we stay the course, the reward far exceeds the commitment we're making.

Homeschooling families also choose
—more involvement, which means more influence with their children
—more TIME with their children, which means more memories to cherish and to use the influence we have
—more childhood, thanks to just being home more
—more opportunities to shape hearts and minds
—more insight into their children's hearts
—more educational options to meet individual needs
—more interaction, more hugs, more TIME. Did I mention more time? Oh yes, I did.
—more flexibility. Go to the park, bake cookies. Play.

Sometimes, "less" really is "more". And it doesn't mean that homeschooling is not hard or that putting your child in school doesn't have it's moments either. But as homeschooling moms, you're making a commitment to put your heart and soul into the lives of your children in a way that many people would not ever choose to do.

Will it be hard? You know it will. But it's worth it.

It's just so worth it! So don't be jealous of moms who have just sent their kids back to school. Instead, embrace the opportunity you have been given and make the most of the homeschool years. They really do go by fast. ♥

 

Thank you Heidi for this reminder, we need reminding all the time of the calling, the reasons, the rewards and the value of what we are doing!

Ordinary Hero

The question was asked and the room fell silent: "Does anyone ever feel they've lived up to their potential?" It was a loaded question, not only because it was asked in a group of persons struggling with vocation, but also because the word "potential" is elusive in its definition. What does "potential" mean in a world that views achievement as athletic prowess, celebrity status, or economic success? If the exceptional is the guide for the achievement of one's potential, how will those of us who live somewhere between the average and the ordinary ever feel we've arrived?

The inherent routine and mundane tasks that fill our days contribute to the struggle to understand our "potential." How can one possibly feel substantial when one's day-in, day-out existence is filled with the tedium of housework, paying bills, pulling weeds, and running endless errands? These tasks are not celebrated, or noticed. They are the daily details that make up our routine. Indeed for artists and bus drivers, homemakers and neurosurgeons, astronauts and cashiers our days are filled with repetitive motion, even if we do have moments of great challenge or extraordinary success. It is no wonder then, with our societal standards and our routine-filled lives that we wonder about our potential. Indeed, does much of what we do even matter when it feels so ordinary? Does the "ordinary" contribute to our sense of meeting our potential, or does its predominance in our lives simply serve as a perpetual reminder of a failure to thrive?

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Linking up with Titus 2dsday,
Playdates at the Wellspring
Living Well Wednesdays

Do you have measles or chicken pox?

What's the diagnosis? Is it chicken pox or measles? Have you been to the doctor?  Did he tell you what you had?  Or did you self diagnose?

Well let's say for arguments sake (though my disclaimer here would be that I NEVER pick a fight), you have chicken pox.  You can tell everyone you have measles,until you are literally blue in the face.  You can lie about it, speak the lingo of measles (if there's such a thing, could be taking this analogy too far - but bear with me), you could cover your face up with make up. 

The problem is that they are going to catch what you have, not what you say you have.

We talk the language of Christianity with our friends, we write blogs about our love for the Lord, we teach our children about God

But what have we got?

What is the real condition of our heart?

Do we really love him and serve him, or is it all just religious acts that we tick off on a to do list!  Do we speak about the church and unity, yet refuse to go because of offense or unforgiveness?  Do we share about loving God and loving our neighbours, but can't even love our husbands?

Our children, our friends, our family, our neighbourhood - are not going to catch what we say we are, they going to catch who we are.  For me, this is a challenging thing to face up to. Because I know it can be easy to pretend, cover up, or present a specific picture to the world.  But I want to not just be a poster board for Christ I want to be a person of influence, I want to be like salt - but I can only do that when who I say I am, is what I am.

This is not my own chicken pox/measles analogy but one, which I have heard many times.

Linking up with Titus 2sday,
Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday
Better Mom Monday's Link Up
Teach me Tuesdays
Raising Homemakers 

Burning bush experiences in everyday life

 Moses - great Moses.  Moses and the 10 commandments.  Moses and parting the Red Sea.  History would be incomplete without him.  He inspires us with his faith.  We are awestruck at what he did for God.  But Moses was just a regular person.

When God called him, he was

"tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law" Ex 3:1  

He wasn't praying up a storm, preaching, part of an outreach to the poor - he was just being a rather ordinary individual. He saw a bush burning and wondered to himself why the bush was not being consumed by the fire,  and went closer to investigate.

And then IT happened  

'God called to him from within the bush," Moses, Moses"' (Ex 3: 4)

I probably need to say this again because you may have missed it the first time.  He wasn't busy with "spiritual activities" but serving, tending and looking after the sheep".

And then God called to him.

I so know how you feel most days:  there are so many things to do, so much washing, floors to be mopped, learning, ironing - that you feel like all you are doing is being a slave.  I feel like that sometimes.  Its easy to cover how I feel with pretty words that make me sound like a noble woman - but I am not.  There are times where I resent always having to do so much.  And so little time for me.  Its not always possible.  I serve my husband and I serve my children, even when I feel like I can't or won't anymore.

I look around and see successful women, women who head up ministries, women who have help in their homes, women who write amazing blogs and have huge followings and I wonder where they find the time to do all of these things. And I remember a time when I was doing "great things for God" - leading ministries, actively doing all things for His sake.  So exhausted but loving being part of the business of God.  I look around me and wonder whether, I will ever do anything like that again, when I am so busy cleaning and cooking and just getting through each day.

And then I remember Moses.

He was serving.  He wasn't even looking after his own sheep but his father-in-law's sheep.  

And God called to him. 

Amazing

Awesome

God

Called to him - MOSES!

Remember this as you serve, that God is calling you!  In your situation of serving.  You can have a burning bush experience and experience the full power of God right where you are.  You don't need to be doing anything more than you are and God will speak to you.  Look around. Do you see the fire? Do you hear his voice beckoning you closer?   Do you hear him say "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground."?

Linking up with Feasting in Fellowship Fridays

Why Me Lord?

 As another week goes by without our car, the second time its gone in to be fixed in the last month - and another large sum of money that needs to be paid over to the fixer-of-our-car, I think WHY?  Again?  As if we don't have enough challenges at the moment.  And as usual when life gets tough and things are difficult I ask the timeless question, that we all do at some point in our lives:

Why Me Lord?

And this is what He said;

" Do you doubt my love for you?"
No Lord
" Do you think that it is not in my capacity and ability to do all things?"
No Lord
" Have I not shown you time and time again my incredible love for you,  my dying love for you, my eternal love for you ... again and again"
Silence
"My precious love, there is nothing that I would not do for you because I love you, NOTHING.  And I held nothing back, I gave everything.  I gave Him for you."
Then why Lord?  Why?  Why not someone else?  Why?  Isn't it enough that we worship you?  Isn't it enough that we have given our lives, our children, our finances, our hearts, our tears, our brokenness to you?  I read your word, I pray, I love, I serve and yet I still don't see that it makes any difference?
" So you love me because you want me to fix your car...? Give you money...? Make life easier...? You want shoes...? What about me?  Do you just want me?  Do you only want me?  Am I enough for you?  Do you still care who I am even if I don't give you everything you lay your eyes on?  Do you still love me without ever receiving another blessing from me again? Am I enough?  Do you love me for just me?  Your heart is fickle.  Your heart loves only when it gets.  And then only when it gets what it wants.  Not the unseen blessings every day that I pour out onto your life.  Where is my love?  Where are you my love?  Every day I wait - but you are busy.... so busy. 

 

 And then there is nothing.....because I cannot say anything in my defense.  I know that all those noble things I think I have done, are empty.  Noble works - empty works - without Him.  Without Him it all means nothing.  And I know that like a child, I have strayed - strayed from His side, refusing to listen to His voice.  Whining, moaning, dissatisfied and ungrateful. All for THINGS, meaningless THINGS.

And so I stand before Him humbled, repentant and realising the truth of my selfishness.  And so grateful that even in all of this - He still loves me.  So undeserving and yet He does.  And I am grateful once again that my precious Father is more interested in the condition of my heart than the condition of my car, wallet or cupboard.

Does it mean that life is any easier?  No.  Do I struggle?  All the time.  But as Psalm 84:10 says "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked."

Today Lord, for you Lord, all my heart, all of me - just for You, because of You. 

Dear friend, are you facing one crisis after another? 
 An unfaithful husband?
Financial pressures that are crippling you? 
Friends who have turned their back on you or is it your son who seems to be drifting and no longer respects your opinion? 
Have you lost someone dear to you or are your still hurting from your past? 

He cares, He cares about you.  He gave everything for you.  He has not left you, He has not abandoned you.  His love for you is everlasting.  Don't let what you are going through, cast doubt on His love.  But remember all He has given for you.  Remember every day, what has gone before and let that cast light on the future.

What do you smell like?

The smell I am talking about is not that smell that you get just after a gym session, or the end of the day I-am-too-afraid-to-check-under-my-armpits kind of smell.  The smell I am talking about are those lovely fragrances you buy for that special someone or as a treat, or hopefully someone else buys it for you.

Fragrances are a luxury.  More than just the regular soap and deodorant combination.  It's expensive and delightful. It's something you leave behind in a room after you have left.  And sometimes it even goes ahead of you.  What you choose as a fragrance reflects, to some degree, who you are.

Sweet, sporty, musky, spicy, floral, bouquet (I love this description which refers to a number of flowers scents combined together), green (mmmh, not sure about that one),oriental, woody, fruity or citrus.  So many to choose from.

I love trying out new fragrances but always end up overdoing it and just about giving myself a full blown headache as I make my presence known in the fragrance department.  And then I find one that I really like and when I get home I can't remember which of the "fragrant spots" it is.  I know there is supposed to be the correct way to do this, but who knows what that is - and anyway I like smelling like perfume.

In fact its like wine tasting.  Apparently when you taste wine you are supposed to take a sip - AND NOT SWALLOW! Then you swirl it around and jiggle it in your cheeks like a mouthwash and then horror of horrors - SPIT IT OUT! Who ever came up with such a silly notion.  After all the best part of wine is actually swallowing it.  If I want mouthwash I would simply go to the local grocery store.  But that's another matter completely.

So back to perfume - yes there probably is a right way of doing it but I haven't researched perfume etiquette yet.  So here I am covered in the most beautiful fragrances and the question that always pops up in my mind is.....(thanks to my dear friend Debbie who was the first person to ask me that question)

What fragrance am I?

 

I am "Beyond Paradise" by Estee Lauder.

I am a traveller by heart, I remember dreaming of travelling to the corners of the earth and seeing and experiencing new adventures.  I love going and doing things that I have never done before, going the extra mile, going the extra distance.  Exploring, pioneering and experiencing. It's a motto I live by - I would rather have memory moments than things.  If you were to ask me what I would do if I had 3 wishes from a genie in a bottle, or a million dollars, or a wish from my fairy godmother - my answer would be to TRAVEL.  I wish I had thought to do a travel blog - who knows maybe by now I would have seen the world and then some.

I am an emotional being as depicted by the beautiful colours of this special bottle.  I experience a diverse range of emotions  every day - and thankfully I have a husband who is very even keeled and doesn't allow too much to influence his day.  He understands that I am a passionate person and somehow has the wisdom of Solomon when it comes to his wife and her emotions. 

It's sweet and I love sweet! I wish I were more sweet - but my sweetness stems from the sugary kind and in fact I suspect my body is starting to resemble the shape of that perfume bottle if truth be told.  I love sweet fragrances, sweet flowers, sweet children, sweets, sweets - I said that twice didn't I?

The fragrance bottle is heavy and solid and fits really nicely in my hand.  It's not finicky or fragile and the glass is even a little thick.  That's me.  I'm solid.  Down to earth, not too fragile (sometimes I think I am not fragile enough).  I am independent, strong-willed, confident and outspoken. But just like the perfume, I'm all soft and liquid inside.  My heart is easily broken on things that matter - like orphans and abandoned babies.

So now it's your turn - maybe you have have never given this any thought.

So my question to you is ...... out of all the perfumes or fragrances in a store, which one would best describe you and why?

This is a question that doesn't belong to me but my dear friend Debbie who ministered to many women, and now watches from heaven as we continue the race of life.  Thinking of you my dear friend today - you have left a deposit in my heart that will stay for a lifetime.

Linking up with : Wise Woman Link Up,  Raising Homemakers

Today I missed it.... by a mile!

Today was hard, today I missed it by a mile - I was  impatient, indignant, proud, unloving, abrupt, lazy, resentful, jealous and so much more. Every day I have to battle through my imperfections.  I see my weaknesses like a glaring spotlight has been placed on them.  I am so aware of my shortcomings.  So many ways I fall short of who I should be.

I could try and cover it up, hide it or suppress it  - but who would I be kidding?  My children can see right through the "cover story", my husband knows the truth - he knows who I am (and loves me anyway) and I would know.  There is no place to hide from the truth.

 But thank goodness through being honest about who I am to those around me, by being real, by revealing my weaknesses - I know it has the power to change all things.

......when I am weak......... you can be too

you can be honest and reveal your fears and failures because you know there is someone else who understands

.....when I am honest...... you don't have to pretend 

to be more or do more than you really are

.....when I confess

God can work with me

He can mould me

Change me

Renew me

And help me become the person He wants me to be 

Psalm 51

 ¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
   according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
   blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
   and cleanse me from my sin.

 ³ For I know my transgressions,
   and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
   and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
   and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
   sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
   you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

 ⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
   wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
   let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
   and blot out all my iniquity.

 ¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
   so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
   you who are God my Savior,
   and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
   and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
   you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart
   you, God, will not despise.

 ¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion,
   to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
   in burnt offerings offered whole;
   then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Today I am linking up to:Wise Woman Link Up, Living Well Wednesdays, Domestically Divine Tuesday, Teach me Tuesdays, Titus 2sday Link Up, Teach me Tuesdays,

Confessions of a Crack Pot

Oh I have lots of cracks in fact, I am a real crackpot, imperfect in every way.  I know its hard to believe:))  So to convince you, I thought I would mention some of those cracks of imperfection.  However, if I were to bump into you in a mall, or a homeschooling group or say church - I will deny all knowledge of this post and pretend that it doesn't exist - :))

 Crack #1
I'm loud, opinionated and am constantly saying the wrong thing or asking the wrong question.  I can just see it on the faces of people I talk to.  That look which says I've gone too far, offended someone or they simply do not agree with what I am saying.  Even as I say something I wish I could grab hold of it and shove it back down into my mouth.

Crack#2
I struggle with insecurity and being shy.  And I KNOW that none of you really believe me even as I write this.  I always get this - What you?  NEVER!
But I am!  I am very bold and totally not shy around people I know but I struggle to initiate or hold a conversation with people I don't know.  Once I get past the name, address and what you do - if nothing else crops up - I find some kind of lame excuse revolving around my children. 

Crack #3
I struggle to live without TV.  We used to have DSTV but we disconnected - I don't have to watch anything specific, I just like watching something.  I often abandon other more worthy occupations or activities just to watch TV and spend far too much time at night watching.  Now I only watch the occasional video and only watch telly at my mom's house or when I go to gym (sad I know).

Crack #4
I have a short temper and I am far too emotional.  I even get cross with myself for not being more patient.  I I often respond emotionally to a situation, rather than waiting and allowing my emotions to stabilise.  I have hurt relationships with friends in my inability to hold my tongue until my emotions have stabilised.  Damage that really could not be undone. 

Crack #5
I don't like confessing to being a crackpot, just in case it just confirms every one's worst fears. 

So there you have it, some but definitely not all of them.  I wouldn't want to frighten you off with too many confessions but just keeping it real.

I would love to hear from you.  Tell me if you dare, what cracks are in your pot. 

Who will be my Valentine?

So Valentine's day lurks round the corner, like an unsuspecting visitor waiting to pounce and expose our lack of preparation or readiness for this day marked in our calendars .

Love.... can it really be expressed fully in a day - a day filled with candy, balloons, cards, romantic dinners.... or could there be more?

Should I entertain the notion that my expression of love is determined by my performance on this day?

As the day approaches remember when I was in Grade 4.  Waiting for that letter from the boy that I "loved with all my heart" - hoping that he would send me something special.  The sweaty palms, the nerves and mostly the fear that I would suffer the humiliation of rejection.  That I would be the only one who was unloved or unnoticed.  But then there was a card, an immature expression of love, followed by unexplainable relief and joy that I had been "loved".

Source

But someone else, a young boy - sat empty handed. He tried to pretend like it didn't matter - but it did - to him. 

What have we done with love, true love, everlasting love when we reduce it to this?
To a day
to a moment
to a piece of candy
to a note

The love I know is patient and kind. 

 not jealous or boastful or proud or rude

  not demanding 

NOT IRRITABLE

 keeps no record of being wronged

  doesn't rejoice about injustice

  rejoices whenever the truth wins out

never gives up

never loses faith

is always hopeful

and endures through every circumstance 

This is the love I want to teach my children, not losing sight of the lover of my soul, the one who loved so much that he sacrificed everything for me.  The love that knows no limits and remains as true today as it did years ago.  This is the love that I want them to long for - for all else is temporary. 

But when Tuesday dawns - there will be gifts, gestures of romance - a loving wife and companion and yet still  I will wait for my creator to whisper in my ear, to remind me of his love - to declare my beauty. 

This is the love that I know

And now he's 10!

From the time he arrived in this world - one week late, he has been the source of so much laughter.  My middle son who is an amazing child of character, strength and perseverance. His name means - "the one who perseveres".  He has the courage of a lion, and a heart of a lamb.

He ALWAYS has food on his face - he LOVES food!

Food, food, glorious food!

 

The sweetest deep sleeper and always the last one to wake up in the morning!

 

Always scratches and bruises from all the monkeying around.

 

My precious boy

 

He likes to look cool and sometimes takes it a little far:)

 This was a white shirt 2 hours before this photo

 

Cool dude

 

Look at those eyelashes! Such a handsome fellow

 Toothless

 

Always one of the boys - dirty, and full of mischief

 

 He ADORES his dad, much to my dismay (and envy) and I have to fight for time with him.

 He loves compassionately.  My gentle giant.

 

Skateboarder! Or at least trying to be one.

 

Our Nipper's Champ!

 This child could stay in the water until it literally froze over! 

It's been 10 memorable years and such special, precious moments.  I love to watch him grow.  He truly is a blessing to me!

Saturday Memory Moments

Adopting our Precious Ruthie

We are travel, adventure and new experience junkies.  Like I said in my previous post -  we live for memory moments.  I am all for routine but I don't want to look back and think - What have I done?  What have I experienced?  What new thing/hobby/book did I explore?

I would love a house that looks like something out of Garden and Home/ Good Housekeeping/ Your Family (choose the relevant magazine title and stick it in there otherwise this list will go on and on as it is right now).  I love beautiful things - but what I love more are Memory Moments.  Give me tickets to a foreign land and I will happily share my bedroom (though not my bed) with my 4 children - we could live Asian style.

Having an adventure with 4 children when everyone said 2 is enough

Memory Moments in our house happen on a Saturday

Nothing especially creative about the choice of day - but during the week we do all the learning, cleaning, home activities, Nippers and training.  Sundays are filled with church, visitors and then some more church (we're especially holy on those days as we want to keep up with our appearances; - though actually at times I am surprised that they actually allow us back week after week - I am still waiting for them to ban us due to ..... something)

We ensure that everyone is available - no sleepovers or Dad working - because we want it to be a family moment.  A snapshot in our minds for the rest of our lives.  Our bucket list - a list that keeps growing every time we discover that new "thing".

 Zip Sliding was new experience for us all

 Some of our memory moments have cost us dearly ( financially, self sacrifice) but every single one of them was worth it.  Some memory moments have been a day, some have been years - but stored up as treasures in our hearts and minds - forever.

My first ever ice show

What Memory Moments are you creating today, this week, this month, this year?  Make sure you leave space to enjoy life and go on an adventure.  Life is filled with choices and mostly we choose the routine, the same things, the familiar - but we need to make space for the unexpected, the passion, the adventures and the roads never taken ..........because we never dared.

Everything you could possibly need

I am going through a very challenging season at the moment.  I feel like every aspect of my life is under a magnifying glass, pressure points are being exposed and I have felt very resentful and irritated with life.  Then I found this gem today and I felt like God just turned my face from looking at my circumstances to Him. 

This is a devotional by Max Lucado:

"Are you hoping that a change in circumstances will bring a change in your attitude? If so, you are in prison, and you need to learn a secret of traveling light. What you have in your Shepherd is greater than what you don’t have in life.

May I meddle for a moment? What is the one thing separating you from joy? How do you fill in this blank: “I will be happy when ________________”? When I am healed. When I am promoted. When I am married. When I am single. When I am rich. How would you finish that statement?

Now, with your answer firmly in mind, answer this. If your ship never comes in, if your dream never comes true, if the situation never changes, could you be happy? If not, then you are sleeping in the cold cell of discontent. You are in prison. And you need to know what you have in your Shepherd.

You have a God who hears you, the power of love behind you, the Holy Spirit within you, and all of heaven ahead of you. If you have the Shepherd, you have grace for every sin, direction for every turn, a candle for every corner, and an anchor for every storm. You have everything you need."

Max Lucado
From: Lucado Inspirational Reader
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2011)
To learn more about Max Lucado visit his website