Oh I have lots of cracks in fact, I am a real crackpot, imperfect in every way. I know its hard to believe:)) So to convince you, I thought I would mention some of those cracks of imperfection. However, if I were to bump into you in a mall, or a homeschooling group or say church - I will deny all knowledge of this post and pretend that it doesn't exist - :))
Crack #1
I'm loud, opinionated and am constantly saying the wrong thing or asking the wrong question. I can just see it on the faces of people I talk to. That look which says I've gone too far, offended someone or they simply do not agree with what I am saying. Even as I say something I wish I could grab hold of it and shove it back down into my mouth.
Crack#2
I struggle with insecurity and being shy. And I KNOW that none of you really believe me even as I write this. I always get this - What you? NEVER!
But I am! I am very bold and totally not shy around people I know but I struggle to initiate or hold a conversation with people I don't know. Once I get past the name, address and what you do - if nothing else crops up - I find some kind of lame excuse revolving around my children.
Crack #3
I struggle to live without TV. We used to have DSTV but we disconnected - I don't have to watch anything specific, I just like watching something. I often abandon other more worthy occupations or activities just to watch TV and spend far too much time at night watching. Now I only watch the occasional video and only watch telly at my mom's house or when I go to gym (sad I know).
Crack #4
I have a short temper and I am far too emotional. I even get cross with myself for not being more patient. I I often respond emotionally to a situation, rather than waiting and allowing my emotions to stabilise. I have hurt relationships with friends in my inability to hold my tongue until my emotions have stabilised. Damage that really could not be undone.
Crack #5
I don't like confessing to being a crackpot, just in case it just confirms every one's worst fears.
So there you have it, some but definitely not all of them. I wouldn't want to frighten you off with too many confessions but just keeping it real.
I'm loud, opinionated and am constantly saying the wrong thing or asking the wrong question. I can just see it on the faces of people I talk to. That look which says I've gone too far, offended someone or they simply do not agree with what I am saying. Even as I say something I wish I could grab hold of it and shove it back down into my mouth.
Crack#2
I struggle with insecurity and being shy. And I KNOW that none of you really believe me even as I write this. I always get this - What you? NEVER!
But I am! I am very bold and totally not shy around people I know but I struggle to initiate or hold a conversation with people I don't know. Once I get past the name, address and what you do - if nothing else crops up - I find some kind of lame excuse revolving around my children.
Crack #3
I struggle to live without TV. We used to have DSTV but we disconnected - I don't have to watch anything specific, I just like watching something. I often abandon other more worthy occupations or activities just to watch TV and spend far too much time at night watching. Now I only watch the occasional video and only watch telly at my mom's house or when I go to gym (sad I know).
Crack #4
I have a short temper and I am far too emotional. I even get cross with myself for not being more patient. I I often respond emotionally to a situation, rather than waiting and allowing my emotions to stabilise. I have hurt relationships with friends in my inability to hold my tongue until my emotions have stabilised. Damage that really could not be undone.
Crack #5
I don't like confessing to being a crackpot, just in case it just confirms every one's worst fears.
So there you have it, some but definitely not all of them. I wouldn't want to frighten you off with too many confessions but just keeping it real.
I would love to hear from you. Tell me if you dare, what cracks are in your pot.
Posts
Mel, it is so good for us to be real with one another...Yup: I too struggle with being emotional and getting angry when I should not.I see myself reflected in my daughter and sometimes I worry for her as I know what I went through as a teen and I know just what she is thinking... I take things personally when I should not and end up analysing things I should let go of. We too had to let go of DSTV and I miss the shows hubby and I used to watch together.Those are my cracks...not worn with pride....
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean, when I see my children getting cross, I can just see a reflection of who I am. I keep praying for the fruits of the Spirit but feel like there is still soooo much work to be done.
DeleteAh Mel, life would just be too hard and intimidating if everyone else was perfect. Me, I love a good book. Nothing wrong with that. But I read a lot, and I tune the world out. Seriously - burnt food, warring kids, overflowing baths (the resulting unhappy husband). I call it escapism. TV? Also on my list, which is probably why I police my kids' screen time so intently. We'll leave it there for now. Quick, click "publish"
ReplyDeleteExactly - escapism. I think you hit the nail on the head. I want to escape from thinking about everything I should be doing and in fact if I fill my mind with everything else then I forget what needs to be done - which feels good at the time but then just starts to pile up until I am absolutely overwhelmed!
DeleteThanks once again for a very humourous but real post...too many cracks in my pot to mention. lol x
ReplyDeleteShell
I know that was what was so scary, I felt like I could make a long list. So much that can only be changed by God.
DeleteThe crack in my pot... I am such a perfectionist... my poor kids are constantly being told to fix up, pick up, work harder, behave better, dress better.... ad nauseum!! I destroy myself (and them) with this tendency of always wanting to do my very best at whatever I do... so failure destroys me... I also need escapism... but I run away from the people in my life and take time alone to recover, and then start all over again.... I even retyped this post a few times... to get it "just right" LOL - I am crazy!! Thanks for keeping us "real" Mel!!
ReplyDeleteI know all about perfectionism, I expect my kids to be perfect even if I am not:(
DeleteThanks for laying your heart out on the line. I just had a week where I was unwell and weak. All the cracks I thought I'd covered and mended reappeared. I read a blog about the fallacy of trying to be Mary Poppins and I realised that I'm nothing like her - I'm me and I humbly accept that I am imperfect (even though I wish I was perfect!). From one cracked pot to another.
ReplyDeletex Julaine