Today as I spent time with my family, I was surrounded by a challenge - the challenge of my heart.
A beautiful sister in the Lord stood up to share about a new ministry and I was filled with envy - wishing that it was me.
I stood to worship with the team and felt insecure and unworthy. Standing next to a worshipper with a glorious voice, I felt so untalented.
My youngest came to me hurt and close to tears and there was anger. I marched off and told the offenders off with no grace or mercy.
And when I got home I cried..... realising again how incapable I am of being anything by myself. How incapable I am of love, patience, kindness, mercy, gentleness or any good thing without God who is the source of all of this.
I realised how desperate I am for Him, how much I need Him, how I hunger after His presence - and how totally lost I am without Him.
I needed to be reminded of this today.
So that I can cling to Him.
So that I can remain in Him.
I have been distracted recently. I have been busy doing - and not being .......with Him.
The lover of my soul.
The one who knit me together in my mother's womb.
The King who calls me His daughter.
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It's so easy to compare with others and want what God planned for them. I, too, grieve over how I fall short. I'm so glad God sees me as I will be!
ReplyDeleteOh me too! So distracted and missing my time with Him. And thankful for how he has drawn me back...again.
ReplyDeleteVisiting today from Proverbs 31 Thursdays. Peace.
Thank you for both being so real and transparent. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind and think that there must be something wrong with me to even feel or think like this - after all I am a "Christian" but then I am reminded time and time again that its all about His Grace isn't it, not about me getting it right.
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