Photo Journal: What children get up to when we stop entertaining them

We love to keep our children busy.  We fear the dreaded words "I am bored".  Those 3 words are not just a statement - they declare that we have failed them in some way.  That we are not a "good mommy" because we can't keep them busy and entertained.  We feel like it's a personal criticism - like we are somehow personally responsible.

IT'S A BIG FAT LIE!

Our children have been led to believe that they need to be entertained, driven around from place to place at every whim.  That home is an unacceptable option.  That there has to be every type of entertainment available to them, even if parents don't have the money.  

It's not our job as parents to entertain them.  It's not our job to ensure that they are fully engaged with one or other activity all day.  

When we spend our time doing that, we rob our children of creative moments.  Of problem solving, and often reading.  It's in those quiet times, when they don't have something to do that they will reach for a book and find another world.  Frustration teaches our toddlers to walk and talk, so why do we feel the need to give our children everything they want, when they want it.  If they get just the slightest bit frustrated, imagine what they will come up with.  Watch out Einstein!

I am not saying that you should not give careful consideration to opportunities for your children to be involved in one or other social event, sporting activity or an occasional bit of screen time.  But they don't need to do that all day, especially not in the holidays, because as holidays go, moms and dads need to rest too.  In fact in our house, if the kids have something outside of the house in the morning, mom has the luxury of not doing anything further for the rest of the day, unless I want to.  Like today they went to a church youth fun hike and this afternoon we are heading to the beach, because I want some sun and tomorrow there will be rain for the next 3 days.  Not because they are demanding it, of course it's a bonus for them because they get to surf while I am at the beach.

Now I know I said that this was going to be a photo journal and so I want to give you an example of what my youngest son got up to, when he was "bored" and had nothing else to do.  It's a small video but this is what he did for almost 2 hours the one afternoon. And he wanted me to watch while he did it.  Benefits - eye hand co-ordination, fresh air, positive affirmation from mom, arm exercises, eye exercises - the list is endless.  And I had nothing to do with it.  Just an old tyre and a stick.  Now he may not be creating energy or light but they all have to start somewhere and the key is taking initiative and creativity!

Homeschooling and Holidays

Some big homeschooling questions, ones that seem to come up time and time again: Do we take school holidays?  Do we just do what we want - and how many days do we do school?

We have tried a number of options and sometimes we combine more than one.

1.  Public School Holidays

This has been the one we have found the easiest to manage as it simply is easier because there are some amazing holiday programs during the holidays that we want our children to be involved with.  Also with many of their friends being in school, they get invitations for play dates  - which we would allow but then the other children who were left behind would then have to do school.  Which really seems to be quite unfair.

So now we take our holidays at the same time.  The downside of this is that everything is much more expensive, busy and in demand but there is always a price to pay whichever way you do it.

2.  Two Months School, One Month Holiday

This works well. It means that holidays are more evenly spread.  Often the December holidays (in South Africa) are too long and then when we get to September, it's only 10 days which really feels too short.

3. American/ Canadian/ Chinese year (or any other country that starts in August)

I know of South African families who work according to this year cycle - most often because they are using Sonlight or an international curriculum.  The problem with using this approach (though as we draw nearer to leaving for China ourselves, we will most likely make the switch too) is that the biggest holidays over winter, which in Cape Town could be a really cold, wet, experience.  There is nothing better than late summer nights and beach in December.  Couldn't manage doing too much school then.

5.  As we need

We do take time out in the term, but we adjust our other holidays too. If I take a week off in the middle of the term, because I can see that the children need a break, then I make up for it somewhere else or we just start our end of term holidays a week later.  This is one of the best advantages of homeschooling among many others, is the ability to give my children times to rest when they really need it and to get them working when they don't, which may sometimes be when the public schools have their holidays.

6.  Never take holidays - weekends are enough of a break.

We tried this, but I found that the children were fine but I wasn't.  I like to have a rest every now and then.  I need it.  I need to have a week where I can catch up with cleaning or just be able to lie around reading books and doing nothing instead of homeschooling and running around with all extra curricular activities.   

7.  All holidays and then some

I am a firm believer in freedom in homeschooling, the freedom to make choices that fit our family,however we also don't take that to mean that we just do what we want and spend half our year on vacation. I am fairly strict about how many days we school and how many hours.  I think its good to have boundaries in life and to have some guidelines within which to work.  We also have a lot of work to cover each year.  Fridays are our learning excursions, whether Cape Explorers, visits to the museum, nature studies or extra mural classes - we make sure that we get Out and About. It keeps the learning experience alive and the children have something to look forward to after a week of hard work. 

So there you have it, our holiday habits.  And this week is one of those weeks.  We are on a short vacation and my children have been attending a holiday club hosted by one of the local churches around here, heading off for a surf in the afternoon or visiting friends.

What is your approach to holidays in your home school?

Live for today, not tomorrow

Learn to appreciate the things you have before time forces you appreciate the things you once had.

This was a particularly meaningful quote for me today.  On Friday, I heard about a school classmate who had died at the age of 39.  I am 39.  I keep thinking that I have the rest of life ahead of me, years and years to enjoy.  Time to enjoy my husband, time to enjoy the sunshine, the sea - time with my children- but right now I am busy.  Busy with so many things, maybe tomorrow.

And yet life can come to an abrupt halt .... 

Jesus and Jeff

I love bloggers, because they are people like me, who find their creative outlet in words.  Imperfect beings but putting it out there for others to enjoy, learn from or chat to.  Here's a new blogger, in fact someone I know personally - a man who wants to share his passion about Jesus and some of the insights he has gained through life.  Why not pop over there today and show him some blogger lovin'  - make a comment, even if you don't agree.  We bloggers are sensitive souls and love to know that someone out there in the big world wide web is reading what we write and that it's meaningful.

I especially found his article on An Attitude of Thankfulness thought provoking and touching.  Here's a small excerpt

Today I was reminded of that time again when one of the women in my church had to move her home in one of the townships.  So a group of us men and women showed up and literally took apart her house and attempted to put back together what I would call a few pieces of scrap wood and metal to call a 'home'.  Once again I had that overwhelming feeling of wanting to take as many of those people living there (especially the children) and settle them in Canada to give them a better hope of a future. Once again I was  overwhelmed also with thankfulness for everything that God has given to me.

40 things I want my children to know

Recently I read a lovely post about what a mom wanted to leave with her children - life lessons, insights and wisdom.  It hit a chord in my belly and I wondered what my list would be, what would be important?  What legacy would I want to leave with them that had lasting value?  There are so many things that I could teach them, so many insignificant things, busy things, work things- but there are values and lessons in life that I think are important for them to carry forward into adulthood and every day living. Here's my list.  Seems like 40 is on my mind.  It must be because my birthday is coming up soon. In fact in 15 days 23 hours and 20 minutes.  Whose counting? 

1.  Enjoy the rain - it brings life.
2.  Go outside when the sun shines, you never know when it will rain.
3.  Don't plan too much for the next moment but enjoy the one you're in.
4.  Treasure your siblings - they are your best friends and know you as you are.
 5.  Love the Lord first and foremost.
6.  The biggest decision you make for life is to serve the Lord
7.  The second biggest decision you make will be who your spouse will be - choose carefully.
8.  The less clothes a girl has on, the less likely she's the one for you.
9.  Choose your battles - don't fight for the small things but fight for the things that count.
10. Listen to your conscience - it's normally right.
11.  When one of your siblings says - Mom and Dad won't find out - don't believe a word, parents have special radars that pick up all sorts of behaviour, even when you're an adult.
12.  Don't choose a career until you have spent some time getting some life experience, then choose.  Some of those experiences will show you what to do and what you don't want to do.

 13.  Travel everywhere, even when you have children - always go on trips of discovery in a new town, a new country, or a new street.
14.  Delight yourself in the small pleasures - a chocolate milkshake, the sight of a whale breaching, running on a beach - don't only wait for big events otherwise you might wait forever.
15.  Treasure memory moments more than things.
16.  Live debt free, offers of credit are just ways of trying to persuade you to be enslaved.
17.  Look for a car with boot space, if you don't you will have to buy a trailer or sit with your luggage on your lap.
18.  Don't be afraid to try new things, meet new people, see new places - life is an adventure

 19.  Don't swim in the sea if you have a cut - there is always a shark out there looking for it's next meal. (OK might be a bit extreme but living in False Bay which has the largest prevalence of great white sharks in the world, this is a very relevant one)
20.  There are people who will try and bully you, even when you are an adult - walk away.  Don't even entertain them, just walk away.  They are not worth doing business with (even if they have lots of money) and they are definitely not people you want to be friends with.
21.  Ask lots of questions before you sign anything - especially the small print.  And have someone else check just in case you missed something - preferably your grandfather who is a lawyer and has your best interests at heart.
22. Don't believe everything you read, see or hear - listen with discernment and always ask lots of questions.

 23.  You are precious.
24.  I love you and I will always love you and I will never stop loving you.
25.  The day you were born was a day I will never forget and Ruthie, the day you landed in my arms, I knew you were the one!
26.  Things don't change until you are prepared to change.
27.  Always consider carefully what your spouse has to say - they will give you a perspective which could make a difference to your destiny.
28.  Don't break the rules just because everybody else is, let that be a reflection of their character not yours.
29. Nothing is as it appears, always take the time to get to know someone before you decide on who they are.
30.  Children are a blessing from the Lord, enjoy every moment of it, they are special moments.

31.  Holding hands with a girl can lead to trouble, put your hands in your pockets and talk instead.
32.  Take time every day to see the good things around you otherwise you will forget and become bitter and twisted.
33. Don't allow television, computers, smart phones or any technology to take over your life, remember people are more important than even the most exciting technology
34.  Drink water all day, don't replace it with tea or coffee, juice or hot chocolate - your body needs it more than you think.
35.  Don't watch any movies with an S or N rating - they will ensnare you, choose carefully what you watch and what you read.
36.  Don't give up, try again, try from a different angle - ask someone for perspective - some of the greatest inventions have been because people found the solution to a problem and it didn't happen the first time.

 37.  Sleep on any big decision, conversation or conflict.  Off the cuff responses can be fatal.
38.  Build good relationships with your neighbours where ever you are.
39.  Stay close to God and his people. Don't be drawn away from the church.  They might offend you, let you down or just irritate you but they are family.
40.  Love people of every culture, language and tribe - they all belong to God and are precious in his sight, even if others would tell you otherwise.

What would you add to your list?  I would love to know.

Linking up with Teach me Tuesdays, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home,

The Get Naked Club

I know you've having a peek at this article kind of wondering what on earth this could possibly be, and wondering whether you will possibly need to unsubscribe from this blog.  But never fear, I haven't quite lost the plot.... yet.

You may remember my post about 100 things I have learnt in my almost 40 years, especially numbers 47, 86, 87, 88.  Yep da man thing, the I want intimacy thing - often! Some of you ladies are already getting a knot in your stomach just at the mention of this and are wondering where you put those headache tablets.

But I believe this is an area that many women struggle with.  I struggle with .  Who would have thought that so many women could have this one thing in common?

We are wired so differently.  Time and time again I shake my head and think, Lord?  And this intimacy thing is like soooooo much effort.  And then we read about how "our bodies don't belong to us, they belong to our husbands" and then I think to myself "Over my dead body, there is NO way!"  Because of course it might mean more - you know what!

After cleaning toilets, washing dishes, ironing clothes, cooking food, running children around, taking the cat to the vet, phoning the municipality for the 5th time today - who can possibly think of doing anything but sleep?  Aaaah but there is this strange breed who still does!  They could be dead tired, but start getting dressed for bed, and suddenly there is this rather uncomfortable interest in what you are doing as though you had planned a special show for them!

Girls, you know what I mean.  But I have learnt something - when I spend time in intimacy, there is a joy and there is a different level to my relationship with my husband.  When I give him the loving he needs, he gives me the loving I need. Yes I know we have a 20 step sequence of things we want them to do before they touch us - which might include a trip to Paris, or a new lingerie wardrobe - because how dare they even expect anything from us, when they have barely paid attention to us the whole week.  

But when I change it around and say - I'm going to give my man all the loving he needs without expecting him to jump through hoops, it's amazing how much loving I get back.  I get coffee in bed, suddenly he volunteers to take the kids out to give me some space, he pays attention (though sometimes with a silly smug grin on his face as he remembers the previous nights shenanigans) - but it's there.  All the things I need.  So if I want more attention, care, romance, flowers, time, service - which are more my needs - then I need to give him what he needs - intimate one on one love!

It's a challenge because we are selfish and our love can be very conditional.  He must give me this, and then I will give him that (love with a hook).  But when we give this part of ourselves without attaching conditions and making it so hard to get close, we start loving him with an agape love - unconditional love, which is Christlike.


My prayer for you today (and me):

God would you meet every women who reads this post today and relight and rekindle passion for her husband.  Would you remove every insecurity that would tell her that her body is not good enough.  Give her a boldness to initiate intimate moments out of her desire to love her husband in the way that he needs to be loved and that he in turn would love her in a way that she needs.  I pray Lord that the demands of life, the worries of finances, day to day chores would not control the level of intimacy in her marriage.   Help her make a decision to get naked frequently.

[What about the Get Naked Club?  There is no such club of course but a couple of my friends and I laugh and joke about it, saying that we should start an accountability group of how many times a week we get naked with our husbands, because we all struggle in this area.  I don't think you have to start a club, but it would be worthwhile to share your struggles with someone you trust. They probably are going through a very similar thing and you may not feel so alone - and pray for each other.  It's not a time to dishonour your husband or to gossip about him, but to be accountable to one another, and to grow in this area.]

Feel free to share or comment, but if you want to ask questions or say something of a more personal nature, feel free to pop off an email to me and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

Linking up with Wise Woman Linkup, Raising Homemakers,  Titus 2sday,  Growing Home Blog, Unveiled Wife, Women Living Well

Recipe: Butternut Soup

It might be headed for Spring but this morning I woke up to rain.  Our homeschool excursion was cancelled and the temperature was down to the teens again.  Not that I am complaining.  I love Cape Town, I love that no day is the same.  Every day I wake up to the sea painted a different colour and the artist in me just loves the unpredictability of it all. Isn't life exciting when you don't know what's the day holds?

Butternut soup is a firm favourite in this house. The mention of me making it for supper brings the kids running and whooping with joy!  Yes, my children whoop for joy over food.  They love it, they finish the whole pot every time I make it.  I can never make too much.  In fact if I made it for 3 days in a row, they would not complain as long as there were lots of yummy breads to go with it.


I started with a sink full of butternut - no that's not how many I use but I always wash my butternut after buying it, especially after we discover an overripe one has exploded all over all the others. OK moving on.

Cream

 

Instant Oxtail Soup. 

Then we get these beauties ready for the oven.  Big butternut for a big family.  Now the reason I am doing this in the oven is because it is so much easier.  I use to do it on the stove and would have to peel and de-seed it all first before I boiled the butternut.  This makes preparing the butternut easy peasy and I like easy peasy.

While I wait for the butternut, I take about 250ml of water and just mix in the instant soup and leave it to stand.  This way you don't get those nasty funny bits of concentrated soup in your soup because it hasn't dissolved properly.

 

Yeah baby, doesn't this look good.  OK so maybe they don't look beautiful but those of you who have smelt and tasted roasted butternut before will know how nice this is.  It might ooze a bit, don't worry you are not doing anything wrong, it's just those delicious juices - they sizzle, they pop - YUM!

  

Cook the butternut for about an hour..... or less...... or more.  Not quite sure.  You need to poke a sharp object into the butternut and see if they are all soft before taking them out.  If you have an oven like mine, you need to check them all because in our oven what happens in the back of the oven never quite happens in the front.  I could probably think of some life analogy at this point but it's now Saturday morning, I'm still in my puffy pink gown and only had one cup of coffee for the day - so I'll leave it up to you.

The best way to do this is to wait until they cool down, because the skin actually separates from the butternut flesh and then it really is a breeze. Once it's cooled down take the skin off and remove the seeds.

 

Put all that butternut into a big pot, I just love the colour of this vegetable. 

 

I missed a couple of steps here because I got so busy cooking that I forgot to take photographs.  Add your soup mixture and 250ml of cream to the butternut with 250ml of water.  Now this is where the fun comes in. Blend it until it is really smooth.  I didn't always own a blender and so if you don't, you can push it through a sieve which works as well but takes a longer.  Once its smooth, I normally add another 250ml to 500ml of water and then pop it onto the stove.  I heat it up until the soup has thickened.  How thick you like your butternut soup really depends on you. I wouldn't add too much water as it is inclined to taste watery if you do, rather use milk if you want it much thinner. Add salt, pepper and a dash of cinnamon which gives it a lovely flavour.  I leave it to simmer on the stove for about 10 to 15 minutes and then you're ready to go!

Of course some good crusty bread to go with the soup.

 

And with all the orange in the pot, a couple of beautiful flowers to go on the table is definitely fitting!

Dinner in our house is an event.  It's where all our big family discussions happen and the one time of the day that we all sit together and talk about the day.  It's about fellowship, friendship and fun times!(And a view of the washing)   Enjoy! 

Enjoy making this soup and if any of this is a bit vague or confusing, feel free to ask any questions in the comment sections below.

Only 38 !

Yesterday we celebrated Sean's birthday - and what a day it was.  Breakfast in bed, walks on the beach, ice creams, tea and cake with friends and family, loads of phone calls, emails and birthday wishes.  Everything to make him feel special.  

In celebration of his birthday, here are some of my favourite pictures:

May God’s awesome blessings
Be upon you this day
And for the future years ahead
May His blessings never fade
In every area of your life,
May God abound much more,
So you may be a fruitful vine
With the abundance of the Lord.

 By M.S.Lowndes.

Thank you Lord for blessing me with this man and may we grow old together

Press Release: Cape Town's premier dance festival at the Baxter this October

As you know, we frequent the theatre often - on dates, family excursions or mother-son times.  And this is the next one we are headed to.  This looks likes a fantastical ensemble of talent.  Keep an eye out for our review and maybe we will see some of you there. 

Cape Town's premier dance festival at the Baxter this October

Dance lovers are in for a treat this year when the annual Baxter Dance Festival kicks off with a jam-packed line-up of the mother city's top dance talents and guest performers from Gauteng and Namaqualand at the Baxter Theatre from 4 to 13 October.

Now in its eighth year the popular festival is widely regarded as Cape Town's premier dance platform with over 300 dancers taking to the stage and nearly 50 choreographers showcasing their work. The festival has grown exponentially and has become one of the must-see activities on Cape Towns events calendar.  

Nicolette Moses, Associate Producer and Planning Manager responsible for the festival, says Its the perfect environment for dance enthusiasts to experience and see work by established professionals, as well as up-and-coming dance practitioners. The festival is here to showcase and celebrate the Western Capes rich and prolific dance history, the people who have influenced it and those who are making their mark for the future.

Highlights this year include the new commissioned work by Ananda Fuchs', guest choreographers Gregory Maqoma and Luyanda Sidiya with the Vuyani Dance Company, as well as performances by former Alvin Ailey dancer Bradley Shelver.  One of the much-anticipated performances in the Main Programme category this year is Ananda Fuchs' Fragile Falling which will be performed daily at Main Programme performances from 8 Oct. Fragile Falling is a dance piece that explores the meaning of hair and in particular how its strands hold our personal, cultural, social, emotional, psychological and inherited histories.

Award-winning choreographers Gregory Maqoma and Luyanda Sidiya will make their Cape Town debuts with their acclaimed Joburg-based Vuyani Dance Company. Maqoma's Mayhem and Sidiyas Umnikelo, The Offering were both performed at the National Arts Festival in Grahamstown in July.

This year over 50 entries will be seen, ranging in style from contemporary to neo-classical, flamenco, fusion, physical theatre, modern, African, jazz, hip hop, belly and Indian dancing.  Some of these include Vuyani Dance Theatre, Underground Dance Theatre, Amalgamated Artists, Dance, Wilvan School of Dance, Jazzart Dance Theatre, La Rosa Spanish Dance Company, Cape Dance Company and Brigitte Reeve Dance Company to name just a few. 

 Previous choreographers of the commissioned work were Ebrahim Medell (2005), Marlin Zoutman (2006), collaborators Yarisha Singh and Celeste Botha (2007), Levern Botha (2008), Mamela Nyamza (2009), Carolyn Holden from La Rosa Spanish Dance Theatre in 2010 and Grant van Ster (2011). All these choreographers have continued to make their mark in the world of dance, both locally and abroad.

The Main Programme runs every night at 20:00 from 4 to 13 October and is made up of various works of different lengths and features work by established professional companies, the newly commissioned choreographers piece and that of invited choreographers or companies.

The Off Main Programme, which takes place on Saturday, 6 October, at 17:00, will showcase young emerging choreographers and student work.

The Fringe Programme at 14h00 on Saturday, 13 October will include work by youth groups, dance studios, school groups, traditional African dance groups and choreographers who have requested that their work run on this programme for practical reasons. It usually features great options for younger dancers and kids, offering variety for the whole family.

For further information contact Alethea Patterson on 021 680 3974 or email

Review: Cafe Budan: Coffee at its best

I tell you no lies, if you could have had a chat with my rather coffee calloused taste buds - you would have known about the day that I discovered this new coffee.

Slow roasted, delicious coffee delight!  I am sure that my taste buds are tingling just remembering.  And with flavours like Hazelnut, Irish Cream (my personal favourite), Mexican Fudge and Chocolate Raspberry - how can you not find this coffee delightful?

Now you all know that I don't recommend things that I don't love!  And many of you know that coffee is my first second love (got to keep up appearances, after all what will Sean say ?).  There have been times where my husband has been so close to a near death experience when he hasn't made my morning coffee before he did ANYTHING else.  What could possibly be more important?  After all, if you can hold it in the whole night, why MUST you go to the toilet first?  I might be verging on being classified as "obsessive" but we all have our thing and coffee is mine.  Tea! - for the birds .... or tree huggers..... or people who eat all those sprouty things and if the tea is green its even worse.  Of course that doesn't include any of my special friends and family reading this because that would just be downright rude and judgemental - but those other people out there, no one you know.

Anyway before I get into any more trouble, let's leave the tea leaves there and focus on the good stuff.

SO this great coffee is locally produced by an expert.  Kevin Baker, has written coffee shop reviews for Sunday Tribune Independent and their annual Cafe Society publication in Durban.  He also has an extensive history with coffee as a barista championship judge and food critic.He does all the roasting himself and uses the traditional slow-roasting method with a rotating drum roaster. More modern methods halve the roasting time, but compromise on the more delicate flavours in the coffee.

For only R50 you can buy a 250g bag of the most awesome coffee, and if you live in South Africa it can be posted to you.

His contact details are:  Cell 081-2706225 or email him and place your order.

Coffee! Enjoy!