Thursday, June 16, 2011

Never Quit

I am married to an amazing man.  He was God's perfect choice for me.  God spoke clearly and directly to me and said "This is the one." But just because God says he's the one doesn't mean that marriage is any easier.  We face the same trials as everyone else and then some.  Knowing is not the same as being.

People often look at our family and our relationship and think that we have everything sorted, that we are such a "lovely" family.  (Not sure if the number of children that we have is the reason for them drawing that type of conclusion).  However it hasn't been always the way we have perceived it.  We have had huge arguments and I have packed my bags more than once (I know its awful isn't it?!) as we have had some real marital issues which have often felt insurmountable. 

Dear friends of mine at Connections recently shared on removing the quit option.  The absolute conviction to never give up no matter what happens.  I know that I said my vows and they meant a lot to me then, but I was also repeating words that we were expected to repeat and its so easy to make promises to your spouse-to-be when things are still rosy and you haven't had to deal with any issues yet.
Of course when the paw paw hits the fan, those promises can so easily be forgotten and after all in a society of fast food, instant gratification and media - divorce seems like a real quick and easy option when things get a little difficult.

But when you remove the quit option you are vowing to stand firm ,to never give up, to keep hoping, keep loving and keep holding on (even if its through gritted teeth).
And so I decided that it was time ..... time to get ride of that alternative forever.  I promised Sean that I had removed the quit option from our marriage and that no matter what I would never give up.  What a frightfully sweet moment that was.  Even as I made this promise to him, all my insides went crazy and I thought "but what if".... but I knew it was the right thing to do.  He responded by making a promise never to quit on us, to never quit on me. 

And interesting enough we have noticed a new tenderness in our relationship, a new commitment and consideration.  Its definitely changed something in us and I know that God honours a commitment like this.  We are not naive to think that life will now be perfect and our marriage will never falter but there is a new level of depth to our relationship as we make that purposeful decision to allow God to strengthen us as a three stranded cord.

I love this man who has been brave enough to risk it with me...... forever.


  1. love it, thanks for such honesty. what a beautiful marriage. For LIFE. eeeeeek!!! lol.

  2. Thanks Jenn, its been a real testing time but a growing time!

  3. Wendy that "eeeek" was probably the same feeling I had when I said it! It finally sunk in after 12 years of marriage.

  4. Thanks Mel for such a honest and lovely post! Us moms and wives need more honesty among us - Thank you! Shells

  5. Thank you Shelly, I agree, otherwise we feel like there is something wrong with us and we keep it a secret, afraid of what others will think. We are all so good at looking good.

  6. That's what it's all about-NO QUIT OPTION!


Go ahead, leave a comment! I would love to hear from you!