Sunday, January 8, 2012

Desperate and Hungry

Today as I spent time with my family, I was surrounded by a challenge - the challenge of my heart.  

A beautiful sister in the Lord stood up to share about a new ministry and I was filled with envy - wishing that it was me.

  I stood to worship with the team and felt insecure and unworthy.  Standing next to a worshipper with a glorious voice, I felt so untalented.  

My youngest came to me hurt and close to tears and there was anger.  I marched off and told the offenders off with no grace or mercy

And when I got home I cried..... realising again how incapable I am of being anything by myself.  How incapable I am of love, patience, kindness, mercy, gentleness or any good thing without God who is the source of all of this.

I realised how desperate I am for Him, how much I need Him, how I hunger after His presence - and how totally lost I am without Him.  
I needed to be reminded of this today.  
So that I can cling to Him.  
So that I can remain in Him.  
I have been distracted recently.  I have been busy doing - and not being .......with Him.
The lover of my soul.
The one who knit me together in my mother's womb.
The King who calls me His daughter.


3 comments:

  1. It's so easy to compare with others and want what God planned for them. I, too, grieve over how I fall short. I'm so glad God sees me as I will be!

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  2. Oh me too! So distracted and missing my time with Him. And thankful for how he has drawn me back...again.
    Visiting today from Proverbs 31 Thursdays. Peace.

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  3. Thank you for both being so real and transparent. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind and think that there must be something wrong with me to even feel or think like this - after all I am a "Christian" but then I am reminded time and time again that its all about His Grace isn't it, not about me getting it right.

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