Today as I spent time with my family, I was surrounded by a challenge - the challenge of my heart.
A beautiful sister in the Lord stood up to share about a new ministry and I was filled with envy - wishing that it was me.
I stood to worship with the team and felt insecure and unworthy. Standing next to a worshipper with a glorious voice, I felt so untalented.
My youngest came to me hurt and close to tears and there was anger. I marched off and told the offenders off with no grace or mercy.
And when I got home I cried..... realising again how incapable I am of being anything by myself. How incapable I am of love, patience, kindness, mercy, gentleness or any good thing without God who is the source of all of this.
I realised how desperate I am for Him, how much I need Him, how I hunger after His presence - and how totally lost I am without Him.
I needed to be reminded of this today.
So that I can cling to Him.
So that I can remain in Him.
I have been distracted recently. I have been busy doing - and not being .......with Him.
The lover of my soul.
The one who knit me together in my mother's womb.
The King who calls me His daughter.