Anything that brings you closer to your husband, solidifies or grows your relationship should be something you pursue and focus on. However, if anything puts a distance between you, whether it be mentally, physically or emotionally - these things should be avoided at all costs.
(reworded a bit but taken from Love life for every married couple by Ed Wheat)
Marriage has not been easy for us. There are been some real struggles - packing of bags, lots of tears and crisis moments. On the flip side though, it's been a journey of joy, laughter, friendship and love. How is it possible? I know it sounds crazy doesn't it but sometimes those times of desperation, are often times when I didn't know how else to cope but to pack. Marriage is uncharted territory. I haven't done this a few times, practice makes perfect doesn't exist in this equation. And if like me, you have parents who had their own challenges - it's not easy to find your way in a world which says divorce is your way out, or never committing to marriage - just in case.
My list looks something like this:
Things that grow us together:
* frequent times of intimacy and physical contact
* spending time every day talking about how we feel, the challenges we are facing and sharing the victories
* doing things together
* date nights
* praying with and for each other
* encouraging Sean, building him up with positive feedback about his parenting, provision for the family, his role as a husband
* speaking to him in his love language (service and affirmation)
* making an effort to present myself to him in an attractive way
* submitting to him and asking for his advice
* listening to him
* deciding that I "don't feel like intimacy" and therefore neither should he
* not making time for marriage moments
* prioritising children and housework rather than spending time with him
* late nights
* too much screen time
* too much "me time"
* busy days
* impatience and worry
And now? Well a list is fine, but these are areas that I really need to grow in -to work on in my marriage. Nothing is going to happen overnight either - oh no, there is no magic wand that will change these things quickly. It will take effort and I will need to be intentional. But I know that in my heart, I want to be closer to my husband. I want to keep growing closer to him because I love him.
I am my lover's and my lover is mine
Why not get a piece of paper and make your list - and decide today to grow in love, grow in passion, bring restoration and renewal in your marriage.